Thanks for the Help!

Last night's dream was one with both 1st and 3rd person perspective. I was definitely the main character, but it wasn't really me as I saw when pulled out to a 3rd person perspective. Rather than a 5'11", brunette, I was this petite blonde who lived in Astoria, Queens. My apartment was an odd little gem that had olive green bathroom tiles from floor to mid-wall and a lighter green paint above it. It honestly looked like a large 70's bathroom, but there were couches and floor lamps where toilets and showers should have been. I've seen some awful apartments in my day, but even in my dream I felt this a bit odd.

This blond chick, er... me, was waiting for her boyfriend to visit. Her/My mother, another petite blonde, was bringing him up as he never had visited me in this new apartment before and didn't know where it was. I hear a knock on my door and it's mom and the boyfriend. They enter and mom has some groceries, so she goes over to what I am guessing is the kitchen, but really is just a table in the middle of all the olive green tileness.

The boyfriend comes to greet me and I am struck by how he looks very similar to Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad. Skinny, dirty blonde hair, large raver type pants and a white tank top. I'm sure petite blonde has seen him before, as he IS her boyfriend, however, his appearance is somewhat of a shock to THIS girl inside petite blonde.

After a bit of chit-chat between Mom, Boyfriend (never got a name, so he will be capitalized proper noun Boyfriend from now on) and me, Mom leaves to return home.

Boyfriend and I are excited to have some time alone. It's been awhile since we've seen each other and we pretty much start making out. At this point, I'm all like, oh yeah, it's one of those dreams. Though, honestly, if it's going to be one of THOSE dreams, couldn't it have been Ryan Gosling instead of Jesse Pinkman? I digress...

However, it's kind of obvious this dream goes a different direction as we start nuzzling necks and Boyfriend says to me "Hear the beat? Smell the nerves?" I reply "Of course" as I actually do start paying shit tons of attention to Boyfriend's veins. It's still somewhat all steamy and foreplay like, but I start to make the realization that, damn, we're vampires! And then I realize that for some reason we feed off each other as a weird part of our mating game.

In the next moment, it dawns on me and the tiles, they start to make sense. I bring bitches here to die and I gotta clean up easily, what a practical vampire I am!

Just as I start to go for Boyfriend's vein, he says, holding up one finger "Knock on the door" and we startle apart as a heavy banging starts on our door. Boyfriend gets up to look through the keyhole and thinking he is locking the deadbolt, he actually opens it. As the deadbolt clicks, the door bursts open and a very large woman comes through.She looks like Coach Beast from Glee, but is much taller than Boyfriend and has blonde hair. Blonde obviously is a recurring theme in this dream, but to what end, I'm unsure.

 Not knowing a clue of what is happening and seeing that Boyfriend looks similarly puzzled, I stand back watching for a second as Big Lady lunges at Boyfriend. Boyfriend and Big Lady go at it for about 30 seconds. 'Cause Boyfriend is a vampire, he's strong as shit, so he just keeps trying to push her out the door and lock it, but is unsuccessful because Big Lady is pretty damn strong herself and she just keeps recovering and pushing the door open a second before it can get locked.

I'm all, eff this shit! I'm a vampire too, she can't beat two super strong vamps! Problem is, we end up fighting her like a bad Kung Fu movie - one at a time. Luckily, I jump in and get her out of the door far enough that I think "I got this!" I turn to close the door and feel Big Lady's arms around my arms and chest pinning my arms and dragging me backward. I struggle and look at Boyfriend for help as she drags me backwards into the hallway.

Boyfriend goes back into the apartment for two seconds and I have some hope that he's getting something to help. When he returns, I'm still struggling against Big Lady and he throws out a piece of paper about the size of a fortune from a fortune cookie. A miniscule piece of pink paper lands just barely next to my feet. I am able to see that it has a user name and password written on it. A username and password? WTF is this shit?

Oh, but it gets worse. Boyfriend calls out "Use that information - it will help!" as he SHUTS and DEADBOLTS my door. At this point, Big Lady and I are kind of sitting on the floor as she still has my arms pinned and I'm trying to kick my way to standing. The piece of paper, by the way, barely lands next to me so I start to struggle to grab it with my feet as my arms are still pinned to my side. I don't know what I'm thinking other than hoping just by touching the paper something magical will happen.

This is the valiant point in which my body decides to wake me up. I mean, really?!?

This, however, gives me a moment to ponder a few things as I wake up. Such as, this pathetic vampire boyfriend I have. Let me get this straight, Boyfriend, I jump into the fray to save your sorry Jesse Pinkman ass and when I get into trouble you throw me a piece of miniscule paper as help? Who was the Big Lady and how did I end up fighting Boyfriend's battle for him? I'm also pretty damn sure Boyfriend is the one that turned me into a lame bloodsucker. So why didn't he make me stronger so I COULD fight Big Lady appropriately if he was going to throw me to her. And, finally, this piece of paper - whaaaa???  This is both hilarious and sad. So, yeah, my final thought as I roll over to start a new dream - thanks for the help!